An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn’t care.

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different. — Goethe

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A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there. (Charles R Darwin)

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Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

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There are three types of mathematicians. Those who can count and those who can’t.

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Biologists think they are biochemists,

Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists,

Physical Chemists think they are Physicists,

Physicists think they are Gods,

And God thinks he is a Mathematician.

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A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress. The doctor said: “It’s better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health.” The lawyer said: “Surely a mistress is better; if you have a wife and want a divorce, you’ll incur all sorts of legal problems.” The mathematician said: “You’re both wrong. It’s best to have both, so that when your wife thinks you’re with your mistress and your mistress thinks you’re with your wife — you can do some mathematics.”

References:

http://www.maths.nott.ac.uk/personal/ibf/jokes.html

http://math.uncc.edu/~ygodin/Calculus/jokes.html

Image Credit: http://www.neatorama.com/2007/03/26/10-strange-facts-about-einstein/