An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn’t care.
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them, they translate it into their own language, and forthwith it means something entirely different. — Goethe
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there. (Charles R Darwin)
Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.
There are three types of mathematicians. Those who can count and those who can’t.
Biologists think they are biochemists,
Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists,
Physical Chemists think they are Physicists,
Physicists think they are Gods,
And God thinks he is a Mathematician.
A doctor, a lawyer and a mathematician were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress. The doctor said: “It’s better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health.” The lawyer said: “Surely a mistress is better; if you have a wife and want a divorce, you’ll incur all sorts of legal problems.” The mathematician said: “You’re both wrong. It’s best to have both, so that when your wife thinks you’re with your mistress and your mistress thinks you’re with your wife — you can do some mathematics.”