**Office Fire**

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are working, when a small fire breaks out in front of their offices.

The engineer panics and grabs the fire extinguisher, spraying it everywhere, putting out the fire, but causing extra damage in the process.

The physicist runs some quick calculations, and uses just enough to put out the fire.

The mathematician sees the fire, looks over to the fire extinguisher and says “a solution exists!” then returns to his office.

**Abandoned Building**

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street.

First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house.

The physicist says, “The measurement wasn’t accurate.”

The biologist says, “They must have reproduced.”

The mathematician says, “If one more person enters the house then it will be empty.

*Source: Krawcewicz, Wiesław; Rai, B (2003), Calculus With Maple Labs*

**Livestock Fence**

Mathematician, Physicist, Engineer walking through a field come upon a farmer.

The farmer asks what is the best way to construct a fence that will contain his livestock.

The physicist does some calculus and concludes that the best way to do this is a square fence.

The engineer looks at him and laughs. “No, the best way is a circle”.

The physicist concedes and they start building the fence.

The mathematician just sits there for a while and eventually stands up, puts a small piece around himself and says “I declare myself to be outside”.

**Sheep in Scotland**

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland.

The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, “How odd. All the sheep in Scotland are black!”

“No, no, no!” says the physicist. “Only some Scottish sheep are black.”

The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions’ muddled thinking and says, “In Scotland, there is at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears to be black from here some of the time.”

*Source: Stewart, Ian (1995), Concepts of Modern Mathematics*

**Equations and Reality**

An engineer thinks that equations are an approximation to reality.

A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to equations.

A mathematician doesn’t care.

***

Note some of these jokes are classics, so it is hard to trace who are the original authors. Please comment below if you know their origins so I can give them appropriate credits. Thank you.

How do I learn about percentages, how to figure it out, what part of math is it? I have always had problems with fractions too and it is very embarrassing and I feel I will drop my body before I learn it to some satisfaction. Bill